Question of the week: Selfish vs. Self-care by Andy Traub | Question of the week, Rest How do you know when you’re being selfish or practicing self-care? Comment below. Get posts delivered daily via email Click here Cool. Now you'll get new posts emailed to you. 9 Comments Steve Karum on December 6, 2019 at 10:14 pm Will this ‘self-care’ enable you to help others to a further extent than you can right now? If the answer is ‘no’ then it’s selfish-care. If the answer is ‘yes’ then it’s healthy self-care. Reply Cristina Slabic on December 8, 2019 at 8:38 pm Simple filter. I appreciate this! Reply Andy Traub on December 10, 2019 at 4:00 am Not sure what you mean. I was asking what YOU think the difference is. Would love to hear what you think. Reply Tracy L Winchell on December 7, 2019 at 1:02 am Self-care is a lot like being on an aircraft when the oxygen masks come down. First, secure your own mask. Then help others. Because when we’re passed out or compromised – physically or emotionally – we’re no good to others. There’s an awful lot to this concept. Love isn’t about fixing someone else. Love is about bearing one another’s burdens in a healthy way. If someone can bear their own burdens, they must. When they can’t bear their own burdens, we help so that they can. Complex stuff, indeed. Thanks for asking. Reply Dave Edwards on December 7, 2019 at 1:20 am Everything in balance. Reply Andy Traub on December 7, 2019 at 2:29 am That’s about as gray as it gets. Care to share something more concrete? Reply Cristina Slabic on December 8, 2019 at 8:43 pm Hot topic lately in my circle of friends. I really like Steve’s take on it. Recently heard a similarly clarifying statement. “You have to be selfish in order to have something to be selfless with.” Both speak to the motivation behind it—which is impossible to judge from the outside. The very same action can be selfish (as in only for the person) or selfless (in order to recharge/refresh SO THAT we can serve others). Reply Dave Wernli on December 9, 2019 at 12:35 pm Being selfish medicates pain. You might feel better temporarily, but in your heart you know it’s still back there. Self-care is something that feeds your spirit. Reply Brandon Jubar on December 9, 2019 at 1:11 pm If the action you’re taking is the end, in and of itself, then I’d say it’s highly likely to be selfish. On the other hand, if the action is something you’re doing so that you can then move on to do other things, then I’d probably call it “self-care.” However, the fact that you practice “self-care” does not mean that your other goals are altruistic. Your self-care might not be selfish but other things you’re doing may very well be! Reply Submit a Comment Cancel replyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Name * Email * Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.