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Never make the bed by yourself

How many things are you doing by yourself that you shouldn’t be?

Here’s a simple example. If you can help it, don’t make your bed by yourself. Some things are worth getting help with. Putting up Christmas lights is another one. Adding one person can make it go five times faster.

What do you do by yourself that, if you were willing to ask for help, you could do faster and better?

I’m looking for more of those things in my life, now that the bed is made.

You’re not helping

Whenever I start to write I think about you. It’s not helping.

But if I was writing for my kids, I’d write. If I was just writing because it’s fun, I’d write. But I just keep thinking about you, and it’s keeping me from writing.

Do you know who gets criticized? People who have opinions. Do you know who doesn’t have to worry about people disliking them? People who say nothing.

When you’re driven to protect your ego you avoid criticism. Criticism only happens if you say something that could be disagreed with.

So, I don’t write and I blame you.

It’s not your fault though. The fault, and the reason I don’t write more, is because of my inability to believe who I am outside of other people’s opinions. I am who I am. I’m not what you think I am.

Not things I thought I’d still be dealing with I turned 40, or 41, or 42, or 43.

But maybe there’s some power in saying it out loud. We’ll see.

Do I have to make another lead magnet?

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

There are tactics, strategies, and methods to grow your site that have been tested, measured and compared. They work but I don’t want to do them right now. I think there are other ways to grow something.

A friend told me today they appreciated what I was doing on my site. I replied, “I’m not sure what I’m doing other than not hiding anymore, and that seems like enough to be proud of for now.”

Instead of creating lead magnets and opt-ins, for now, I’d rather make something so good that people want to share it with someone they care about. I want to make things so good that people feel generous for sharing them.

Someday I’m sure I’ll create lead magnets, opt-in pages, and testimonials, but for now, I’d like to ask you this. When you read something that could help others would you share it with them?

I’ll try to make it easier to share on whatever site you use for sharing and for the person you forwarded the email to be able to subscribe to the email list. I’ll also keep writing even when it feels fruitless and feeble (like today) but if you shared these words with others I’d be grateful.

Every day I wake up hoping to help someone. If that’s you then I’m glad. If it’s someone you know then thank you for making the connection.

Thanks for sharing.

There are rules! (but not really)

Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

We sat in the school library waiting for the ceremony to start. 80 adults and 20 middle schoolers sitting in silence because we were in a library.

If we were in the gym we’d be talking to each other but we were in the library and in the library you don’t talk.

There are rules

The first reason we don’t speak up, write, make a video, or put our work into the world is we are afraid of being corrected.

The second reason we don’t speak up is there are rules. Rules like “no talking in the library”.

But that’s not always a rule.

Ignore the rules

Here’s a rule about rules and creating.

If the rule is holding you back, ignore it for a while.

You can go back and follow the rule later but for now, ignore it.

  • Don’t optimize your headline
  • Don’t optimize your SEO
  • Don’t worry about your word count
  • Don’t add a cute picture
  • Don’t create a lead magnet
  • Don’t install 12 recommended plugins

You will never get better until you start.

You will never be known until you put your work into the world.

You will never be satisfied until you know you’ve done something brave.

What rules do you need to ignore so that you can create? Here’s the secret. They’re not really rules. If they were then I’d be in jail. They’re made up. They’re helpful sometimes but there’s no police force for creators.

Ignore the rules you are using as excuses to not create.

Make something, now.


What you need to write

  1. A small idea (It’ll grow if you let it out).
  2. A headline (Be clever or use one of those headline formulas you see so many people use).
  3. Small paragraphs (People are busy so it’s easier to skim your short paragraphs).
  4. Someone you care about (Write for someone you think needs to hear your words, it’ll inspire you to keep going).
  5. No one (Don’t think of the critics or the people who will unsubscribe because you’ll soften your words or worse yet not write them at all).
  6. A device (Literally any device will do. I’m writing this entire post on my iPhone in the WordPress app).
  7. A click (You have to hit publish).

They are waiting for you

Photo by Valentin Wallet on Unsplash
  • There are people waiting to support what you haven’t been brave enough to put into the world. 
  • There are people waiting to applaud your song, with an unfinished chorus. 
  • There are people waiting to subscribe to your YouTube videos that you won’t make because you think your camera isn’t good enough.
  • There are husbands waiting to have a much needed conversation with their wife that they want to work to improve their marriage after they read your post about your marriage struggles. 
  • There are children waiting to spend more time with their dad because of your encouragement to start coaching their team.
  • There are wives waiting to hear about their husband’s struggle with self-worth and confidence because you gave the husband the words to express himself. 
  • There are people waiting to enjoy their job because they started to see their work as valuable even though they aren’t self-employed.
  • There are people who bought yet another online course promising riches waiting for your reminder that it takes time, and failure, and testing, and refining, and then some more time before success arrives. And sometimes it never comes. 
  • There are people who bought the Full Focus Planner waiting for you to tell them you have to just start using the damn thing if you ever want to figure out how to get the most out of it. 
  • There are people who want to simplify their life waiting for you to tell them which app to use, and which iPhone shortcuts you know about that they don’t. 
  • There are people waiting to start something who need your example of imperfection to remind them “If that guy can do it I can do it.”
  • There are people tired of trying tactics waiting to read words that are vulnerable and honest that remind them without meaning and purpose tactics are empty motions that lead us to more emptiness.
  • There are people who are waiting to hear you say, “I don’t know what is coming but I know I can’t get there unless I move forward.”

That was my list, now write yours. 

There are people waiting for you to do something.